Wrecking Ball
by Adventure-Seeking-Juliet
Summary: " The name's Black. Sirius Black. I'm just a cliche, a human wrecking ball with a loyal disposition and a mask that I never remove. How are you?" Sirius Black is not who you think, beneath the humor is a fear of breaking evrything that can be broken.


**Wrecking Ball**

Written by: Adventure-Seeking-Juliet

When: While listening to the dulcet tones of Automatic Loveletter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I just dabble in the amazing world it has created.

A/N " The name's Black. Sirius Black. I'm just a cliche, a human wrecking ball with a loyal disposition and a mask that I never remove. How are you?" Sirius Black is so much more than how he acts, beneath the humor and the pranks, there is something else, a terrible fear of breaking everything that can be broken. Set during ( and after) the first Wizarding War. Reviews? Yes, please. :)

* * *

The night was cold. Cold and black.

Sirius greeted it as though it were a long lost family member, he didn't agree with all of it, but it was home. Relaxed.

He walked slowly, with his hands tucked safely in his trouser pockets, his wand wasn't with him. Sirius had been told that it would be crazy not to carry his wand in times so dangerous, but he didn't want to carry it with him anymore.

Maybe he just wanted to be free, or maybe he was hoping a dark wizard would come along and end him. End him, before he was lost.

Sirius sighed, allowing a cloud of breath to escape his lips. It was late winter and the weather was bitter, but Sirius was too bitter to be bothered by the chill.

Street lights dimly lit the stone sidewalk path in Godric's Hollow, yet still, he walked on. He really had no reason to walk...apparating to his own flat would be _much _smarter...warmer too.

But thinking always came easiest to him when he was moving.

They were getting old. It was a downing thought, one that Sirius had found himself dwelling on more and more often as of late. Lily and James were married.

_Married. _

They had baby Harry too, they were already a family. Small, but happy. Yesterday, James had been complaining about getting his first gray hair.

Was it not the day before that he had been complaining about not having enough OWLs to be an Auror?

_No, maybe not_. Sirius sighed, pulling a glass bottle of Vodka out of his left pocket. He took a long gulp of it, then cringed as it burned his throat. The alcohol helped, but unlike his _dear_ friend, Remus, he couldn't drown himself in it.

High alcohol tolerance and all that.

Remus. What was happening to him? All it was for his old friend was alcohol. He couldn't get a job, and after the last fight he and Sirius had had, he'd unceremoniously moved out of their shared apartment.

Or rather, Sirius's apartment, he was the one paying for it.

That's what the fight had been about, that and the war, and alcohol, and jealousy.

Remus was not a bad man. He was a good guy, his luck though, was not good at all. His affliction kept him from getting a job, or even, going out in public.

The transformations were literally killing him.

And if they didn't, alcoholism would. Sirius hated it. He hated everything about this.

He hated himself for saying the fatal words. _" Remus could be the traitor. He might be the one trading information about James and Lily to Voldemort." _He had told Peter this, poor, pathetic Peter.

He had started shaking immediately. How he had been sorted into Gryffindor, Sirius would never know.

Then Peter had told Dumbledore. Who, of course, had told the Potters.

It was out of control and it was all his fault, he'd broken their friendship, and maybe even a friend. He'd broken something else.

He was a human wrecking ball, masquerading as a loyal and caring friend.

Another five swigs of Vodka later, and he was almost out of the small village. His hands shook and he was starting to bus. He ran forward, preparing to swing around a lamp post, when the glass slipped from his fingers.

The bottle shattered.

The sound was heart-crushing, but Sirius couldn't react fast enough to even jump, instead he squatted down, and studied the shards of the glass in a forlorn silence.

Glistening drops of liquid were swimming on the broken glass, reflected in the dim lighting, the mess looked beautiful.

Sirius was still for a second, then he whispered," The name's Black. Sirius Black," he paused, recognizing the familiarity in the phrase, he said that a lot," I'm just a cliche, a human wrecking ball with a loyal disposition and a mask that I never take off. How are you?"

The glass didn't answer. No one did.

So, Sirius Black apparated, vanishing in the black blanket of night. Soon, everything would be wrecked.

But, of course, he didn't know that.

* * *

A/N Depressing? Yes. Sirius might seem OOC, but honestly, I don't think he is, I think he has too many sides to ever be mischaracterized. Just saying. Please review (:


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